How to legally rob a bank

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Before writing any piece of copy, I go through a research process to identify unique opportunities for the audience. I also learn the language, voice, and style of the entrepreneur and what makes sense for their audience & offer. As such, the language, voice, and style of the copy below may not match yours.
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Subject Line: the biggest bank robbery

Subject Line: how to legally rob a bank

Rat-tat-tat-tat!

“Get down now! This is a robbery! Put your phones, IDs, and wallets in the bag now.”

“Don’t be a hero and you’ll be home by lunch.”

We get down, shaking, looking at each other with our heads touching the floor.

6 total with assault rifles. 4 watching us, while 2 run towards the vault.

LOOK DOWN if you wanna live!”, one of the four shouts at me.

As I look away to the floor, I notice John, the bank’s assistant manager, reaching for the panic button under a desk.

He lives a few blocks away from me. 

Typical guy. Works hard, has a wife and 2 middle-school kids.

Pop-pop!

“I told you not to be a hero, dumbass!”

Shit – they killed him.

People were screaming as they shouted back at us to be quiet.

Suddenly, the 2 robbers that went to the vault came back to the reception with 4 huge heavy bags.

And all six ran off as we heard a police siren coming our way.

A few seconds later, the cops stormed the building and started asking us questions.

Then they looked at the camera footage from the bank. That’s when they started packing their gear.

We asked them what was gonna happen to us and our money, when they said…

“We know who they are but we can’t do anything. It’s their right to rob your bank.”

Holy smokes. We couldn’t believe they said that.

This is our money. Our livelihood. Our life and our spouse’s and our kids’ lives we’re talking about.

And what about John and his family?

If you think that this is a fiction story and would never happen in real life…

You can’t be more wrong.

It happens every day in America when health insurance companies force you to pay their rates…

And if you can’t, you end up like John.

Good luck pressing the panic button when you actually need help for your health or your loved ones…

And the medical bills squeeze and rip you from the balls as you ask yourself why it’s so damn expensive.

Consider a simple blocked blood vessel for example…

In the most expensive country in Europe – Switzerland, a typical standard angioplasty costs around $7k.

Yet it costs $32K in the U.S!

A CT scan in Canada costs $97 out of pocket and $896 in the “land of the free”.

As if the Canadians and the Swiss aren’t free too!

It’s so clear that if there’s ANY billion-level scale bank robbery that’s completely legal, it’s the health system in the U.S.

No wonder why the drug companies have no interest in curing anything and instead love their LIFELONG TREATMENTS!

So they can continue coming to your bank and tell you…

“Your money or your life!”

Fuck that. It’s time to fight.

Not with guns – that never ends well, and besides, the government has tanks.

Not with protests and media – the drug companies have way too much power.

So what’s the alternative?

Knowledge. 

It’s no wonder many experts say knowledge is power.

Knowledge like this manuscript of alternative treatments with proven clinical studies for many common diseases…

Such as heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and arthritis.

I say it’s time to arm yourself to the teeth to live a longer and happier life without surrendering to the big guns the healthcare system has in our country.

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